Thursday, September 18, 2014
She was sure this is were she left him.
There was a girl named Lisa and a boy named Tom who were sister and brother and they had to live in a forest for a week.They hunted deer, squirrels, rabbits, and frogs, and they searched for sticks to make fires. These seven days would have been the most atrocious days of their life, fighting for food, water, and shelter. It was the fourth day and they woke up from the pile of leaves they slept on the night before. They went to the river to get water and when on their way back to where they sleep they heard a growl. Lisa rushed Tom to their shelter place and ran towards the bears growling sound. She had a bladed branch which she used as a spear to hunt with. She found the bear and they fought and rumbled, but all she walked away with were scratches and bruises. She then went back to her shelter spot she had made. She had discovered her brother was not where she had told him to him to stay. She was sure this is where she left him. She was exhausted and frightened. Tom came back to their shelter spot about an hour later dragging a dead baby bear on his shoulder. Lisa was proud, but furious Tom had left the spot she had placed him. By the end of their forest journey they walked away strong, proud, and courageous.
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This was a very well written paragraph. It kept me wanting to keep reading. The only thing you didn't do is indent your paragraph.
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